Once upon a time...

I used to have a best friend. Once upon a time.. I could really tell, this could have last for a lifetime..but actually it didn't. Obviously. It's not like having a sister. Well, I got two. I really am a lucky one. They are both like best friends. Best friends who can't be removed. Annie and Hennie. Two lovely girls.

Nevertheless, I miss her. I used to know her since my 7^th Birthday. There were fights as usual, but we got on with each other. Sometimes, I have to admit, I was jealous. Well.. Today I sometimes wonder why.. But in these days I just WAS jealous. Because of what? ..because of “not loving myself”? Well I don't know. Why should she love me if not even I did?

Sometimes I felt neglected. When she was having fun with people I didn't like.. With people who did not seem to accept me. I felt betrayed.

In the end I lost her. In 2013. I guess, this is the way it was meant to be.. And you know: “If it's meant to be, it will be..”. Maybe I should just let go off the wish to turn back time or at last to wait for a miracle to happen. 'Cause it will never be the way it was used to be in the past. But at least I tried. I really did.

I do not want to say I didn't make any mistakes, because I did. Big ones. Really big ones. I just called her a “sympathizer”, told her she was wasting time with some stupid guys instead of spending time with her friends.. Well, I called me a friend.. Once.

But this was yesterday I guess.

I know these were big mistakes. I just did not think about what I was saying.

I apologized. One time, two times, three times.. Unsuccessfully..

What would you do? Try to forget about her? Maybe that's the only thing to do.

She tells me, she was happy about hearing from me.. But these are only some words. Written.

It has been awhile since I last saw her.

Of course. Now I just turned to an acquaintance. Obviously.

Stop dreaming.

The ending won't be the same as those you know from fairy tales. Unfortunately.